I have been taking Zumba classes on and off for about two and a half years now. I absolutely love it. I remember trying to get out of bed after my first class and I couldn't. I had to roll out of bed and crawl to the bathroom. The dogs thought I was nuts. Little did I know how it would change my life.
First of all, I reconnected with my HS friend Carol. We found each other on Facebook, realized we had been living a few blocks away from each other for several years but never crossed paths!!! The first time we saw each other again? When she picked me up for Zumba. It was great, we laughed, tripped over our feet and had a blast. She has been an incredible source of support and reminds me to keep my balance-at Zumba and in life. Our original instructor has moved but we now plan multiple zumba nights each week at our new location. We even belong to the same gym so we can go together to walk the treadmill and such.
After surgery, I could not really use my back or arms to get out of bed-fear of ripping stitches and muscles were weak from surgery. So I used my abs. I would not have been able to do that without Zumba. I never realized what a core workout Zumba was-it was just something fun that I loved and used for activity!
So, now that I am on the other side of cancer-no evidence of disease-I have discovered I need to learn to live again and trust life. It is hard to explain. I mean, I've been living life (except that stretch from October to Thanksgiving) but not really embracing it. I was too afraid. You know, if things seem to be going to well you wait for the smack in the face to bring you back to reality again. I was stuck. I couldn't go back to the old me, I was stalled for months dealing with cancer, and now I had this big frightening void ahead of me. I come home from work and would be in a state of paralysis-I couldn't allow myself to do anything. How dare I think I can live a full life with the terrifying melanoma beast lurking over my shoulder???
Then I realized-how dare I not life a full life? I dodged a bullet. I survived. Now it is time to live. I had been saying I needed to get back into life but I didn't take action until this weekend and it happened without much effort. I forgot about things and just lived life. We went to dog adoption day and it felt right-like something I want to continue. Awkward at first after being away for a few months but getting better. Then some downtime to get things done and relax.
The realization came Saturday night when I did Zumba-a Master Class with Jani, a Zumba Toning Instructor. I wasn't so sure it was a good idea but I had signed up and was meeting another long losthigh school friend, Suzanne (who is a Zumba instructor). The class was amazing. I finally felt the rush people talk about with exercise. I felt great, was able to keep up for the most part, and had a blast. I still had energy when I left. This was living life!!! I had a crazy good time with a bunch of people who love to move. I never considered myself to be a dancer or an athlete-but I guess I am!!
The energy carried into today. We did yard work (much needed since fall cleanup never happened). I went for a walk, ran errands, filled my time and felt amazing. This is what I had been waiting for. I welcome the new and improved me. I love it. How long will the beast stay at bay? Who knows. But I do know no matter what I do with my days, whatever is going to happen with the beast will happen. I can only do so much. I can live!!!
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