Change.
Certainly sums up 2014 in a nutshell.
Doctors kicked me to the curb, in a good way. My surgeon said no need to return unless the melanoma returns and then, of course, we are here to fight right along with you as much as we can. Other doctors kicked me to yearly. Scans now every 6 months. It is amazing to think that in 2013 I spent a lot of time at appointments and getting IVs and all kinds of things and this year was relatively calm. No rushed trips to the ER, no electrolyte crashes. My only surgeries were for the port. Things have been so calm that I have not seen a doctor since September. That's right, September. The calendar is empty and I'm OK with that.
My port is gone. That's a change I'm comfortable with right now. the scars are reminders but it is nice to not have to worry about the port. Nemo was always a pro at stepping right on it when I'd lay down or sit down.
We had to stop fostering for a while which is a change. We had 5 dogs this year, so I have the comfort knowing I saved 5 dogs-3 were puppies. Now Molly is now having a hard time getting around and it's just not fair to her to have a dog around who does not know to keep out of her way. Molly has put up with a lot more that we thought and she deserves a calm golden years time. We never expected to be a multidog house or to foster so she has rolled with all of this over the last 11 1/2 years. It was incredibly sad to realize our walking route of 11 years was no more-we have to do much shorter routes with her now.
We had to say goodbye to family and friends which is always hard and brings about changes you often don't want to deal with in life. Other family member dynamics have changed as well and I'm adjusting, I guess.
My Weight Watchers leader changed her meetings so we lost our early Saturday mornings at WW. We still feel adrift and it has made it hard to adapt to a new schedule but the people in my new meeting day and location made the transition easier than I thought. Those of you who know me are aware that I'm painfully introverted and have a hard time making friends with people.
I switched from the WW activity tracker to the fitibit-that was a motivating change!
We gave up our hardly used gym membership......
The last bedroom of the house, which was just a place to dump stuff, is slowly becoming a dressing room/storage space that is organized and set up in a way that will work.
I decided to apply to grad school....24 years after graduating college. Starting the application process this weekend. I feel I need to take this step and see if I can do it. I hate having something like this staring me in the face and I need to do this for myself.
Friends changed-some have drifted, many have stayed solid, and there are some new people as well.
I got some new furniture for the dining room that I love and it has made it easier for me to get to my Christmas dishes and has encouraged me to entertain again.
Melanoma is part of my life forever but it no longer dictates my life and takes up my time. Dave and I are thankful for that change!!!
So, change is a necessary part of life. Things can't stay static forever, but I do relish my routines and the things that stay stable. I enjoy the peace in the evening when I read on the couch and there is a dog asleep on my leg. I love walking the same streets I walked as a child. I love riding the same routes on my bike that I did when I was a kid. The familiar keeps me grounded and I like that. I love my job and the kids and enjoy hearing from the graduates who tell me how I have influenced their lives. I still love my car but expect that there will be a change there soon since it's 10 years old already. I love our house and the view of the park never wears out. My desk faces the window that allows me to see the park and reminds me nature is out there waiting-I see the deer, turkeys, geese, and other assorted wildlife all the time. I think as long as I have enough of the familiar and comforting stuff, I can roll with most of the changes.
Here's to the change to 2015 in a few days. Hopefully there will be more good change than bad in store for us!!!
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