I am thinking of my school friend who has a daughter dealing with cancer. Sadly people don't understand that she is trying to focus on the good things in life along with crappy cancer and that her kid is entitled to some special kid stuff and awards and such even if cancer is part of her life. There is no time limit on cancer and it stays with us for a very long time.
With that said, I also get "but you're fine now" or "the worst is over" or "time to start living again" which makes me want to scream. But then I stop and think that they want to believe this. They want to believe this because if they ever are hit with the diagnosis they can believe the fairy tale that life goes back to normal, this is temporary and there are magical things to get rid of the cancer forever. Sadly, this is often not the case.
So, yes, I am fine if this is how you define "fine"
* taking 14 pills a day to keep my body functioning
* a crater for an armpit that is throbbing right now with neuropathy feelings (you know that feeling when your foot falls asleep? I get that in my armpit and it's terrible feeling)
*scans are still every 6 months
*needing to cover up as much as possible when outdoors
*stomach virus or food poisoning can be fatal
*early menopause
*a 9 inch scar on my back that I can't reach and it itches with weather swings
*fatigue
*insomnia
*worry that there are melanoma cells lying in wait
*thyroid failure
*adrenal failure
*losing weight is a herculean effort
the list goes on......but you get the idea. It is a New Normal but I'll never be YOUR definition of FINE again.
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